“The Golden Rule of Communication”

Introduction: Emotion in Everyday Communication

Every single one of us, every single day of our lives, needs to communicate with others. It can be as simple as reminding our friend about their forgotten phone to complex scenarios of resolving conflicts in a group setting. Communication permeates every aspect of our lives.

But there's one crucial rule that takes our communication to new heights. In fact, this one rule could potentially transform your life.

Are you ready?!

The Golden Rule of Communication

Here's the profound truth: People may forget your words or actions, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

The secret sauce is emotion.

Emotion: The Foundation of Human Experience

Emotion courses through the veins (quite literally) of every human being. It weaves its way through the very tapestry of life. It colors how we see the world around us, how we perceive each person's intentions, and how we determine whether someone is friend or foe.

In fact, it's so fundamental to our human nature, that our most basic mental wiring is built on top of it. We are hard-wired to consider every person and every situation from the basic question--are they safe or are they dangerous?

The Neuro(brain)science of Emotion and Memory

From a neuroscience perspective, our brains are incredibly efficient at remembering emotional experiences: threats and safety. So much so that emotional memories have their own dedicated memory circuit.

Usually, when we store memories, they have to go through our short-term memory (a sort of buffer), where they are prioritized before being saved to our long-term memory.

But when we feel an emotion of safe/happy, or threat/sad, those memories bypass our short-term memory and are given the highest priority. They are imprinted directly into our long-term memory.

This one human ability has kept us alive. Our skill at remembering who or what was safe, or hazardous, has protected us from falling into danger yet again.

Positive Emotion in Everyday Communication

So how does this relate to our day-to-day communication?

Once we understand that emotion is the single most powerful part of our communication, we can use this truth to help us speak or act in a way that makes others feel safe and remember their interaction with us as being helpful.

Back to our example...

It may be a simple thing to tell our friend, "You left your phone behind." But expressing this with a positive emotion, like a smile, can make all the difference. It helps them perceive us as being thoughtful, rather than making fun of us for being ADHD (that's me).

Adding a positive emotional experience with every interaction we have with others will make all the difference in the world--I promise you!

Practical Tips for Positive Emotional Communication

It doesn't take much. positive emotion can take many forms:

• A Kind Smile - A simple smile can transform a mundane interaction into a positive experience.
• A Small Compliment - Compliments can create a positive emotional connection. (And if you can't say something nice, say something ambiguous.) ;-)
• Saying "thank you" - Expressing our gratitude shows appreciation and builds goodwill.
• Offering to help - Helping others can foster a sense of safety and trust.

In the end, the most important thing about successful communication is that others feel cared for and safe in our presence. By consistently adding positive emotions into our day-to-day communication, we can improve not only our own relationships but the world around us.

Trust me...kindness is contagious!